“The problem with dating today is, everyone’s mentality. The minute we started putting sex before love, we started setting ourselves back. The minute we started putting Netflix and Chill before “Courting”, we started going in the wrong direction. Women are afraid of men only entertaining them for their bodies, and men are afraid of women emotionally using them to repair themselves because of the damage the last few men did. We need to get back to a place where we start putting real face to face conversations before text messages. We need to stop hiding behind our poker faces and have a little more faith in being transparent with our emotions and what we desire out of the next person. We need to break this unhealthy habit of thinking that we can’t trust letting people get to know us and vice versa. Let’s hold hands and take a walk and talk instead of always texting all the time. Let’s talk about the storms we have been through and pray that the person we are opening up to is someone strong enough to go through the weather with us. Let’s get back to trying to truly understand each other.”
(**Courtesy of – IG@woodtheinspiration)
Well that about sums it all up in a nutshell. What happened to the good ol’ days of courting, holding hands, taking sex completely off the table and just enjoying each others company? I think sometimes I should have been born in a different era. I wasn’t always like this but I think in my older age what I want is very rare these days. The kind of man I pray that God will bring into my life, when the time is right. The kind of man that respects that I want to wait to have sex till marriage, the kind of man that values me for more than my body but also looks at my spirit and my soul. The kind of man that thanks God for me everyday. I thought I had that and it was a big fat lie. I will never over look the red flags again. As soon as those suckers start waving, I’m outta there.
I used to not always be like this. I used to just settle for whatever looked good on paper but now I want to see the whole package. If they have children, how they treat their children. How they respect their parents. How they love people and how they treat a total stranger. That their soul speaks volumes to who they truly are. Of course, we all want a physical attraction, but I want to know who they are on the inside. Not who they “claim” to be but who they really are. How they open my door, how they put their hand right on the lower part of my back as to lead me, how they respect my values, how they want their lives to be and how they treat people. You can always tell who a person is by the way they treat people. Being consistent in a relationship is also very important. To know that you can count on each other. That there is honesty, trust and communication.
I pray for a godly man. The kind of man that will put his relationship with God first and will lead our relationship by that example. I think it’s so easy now to just settle rather than be alone. I can’t do that. I would rather be single and be happy then be in something that was not of God. My past relationships have been such a wreck because mainly who I was. The pains and hurt that I brought into them. The desire to be with someone so much that I over looked who they were. I will never do that again. I know God has the right man out there for me, somewhere and until He chooses to bring him into my life I have no desire to settle.
I know that it seems kind of far fetched that a man will be willing to wait for the intimate part of the relationship till marriage, but in all honesty I think it’s how it should be. It’s the way God intended it to be. To put Him first and at the center of it so that He can nurture it and build it. I like that idea. I think if it’s the right man he will respect and admire that about a woman. If he isn’t then he’s not for me and he’s not for you. We put so much of our self worth in people and I am understanding that God is showing me how wrong that is. To put my everything into Him and let Him be my match maker. I would prefer it that way anyway because then it takes all the pressure off of me.
I feel for sure that the right man will honor me and protect my heart with everything he has. I will know him when I see him. Like our souls and spirits will just click. But, don’t be deceived cause the enemy can bring a person all wrapped up in pretty paper and bows. I know, it happened to me and a really good girlfriend of mine. Spoke all the right words, played into our spiritual side, layed the foundation of how wonderful they were and then bam, the first sign of a difference, they were gone. When the mask of who they said they were started slipping then things got ugly. I want to know that he will be there in the tough times and the good times. That the foundation we are building on is of God.
Does that sound like I’m looking for my Prince charming to come riding up in all perfection? No, that’s not what I’m saying at all. He will not be perfect, I don’t want perfection. I want something real and that has meaning. I’m no where near perfect but I know my heart is good and I’m building on my own foundation with God and I want him to be at that same place in his own life.
I just wished we could start looking at each other with value and worth. Looking at each other the way God sees us, how He created us. We are so fixated on jumping into something that’s quick and easy, instead of building something. Starting off slow, getting to know each other, likes and dislikes, what our pasts were like, things that hurt us and shaped us. I am waiting for what I know I deserve. Waiting for someone who can appreciate that I want to be a godly wife to them. That they can see me and know I would always have their back. That I would love them, respect them, honor them and be the kind of woman they would never have to doubt. Never have to wonder what I’m thinking or where my mind is. That we had an open line of communication. Not like we can’t talk or have to be scared to express how we may be feeling. I don’t want to have to walk on eggshells around them and I never want them to feel like they can’t talk to me about any and everything. I know it sounds like a fairy tale but I know it’s out there. I’ve seen it with couples I know. I believe he’s out there.
And until God makes a way for Him to find me or vice versa, I’ll wait…..I won’t settle and I won’t stop living my beautiful life God has given me. I’ll just wait for him. I’ll pray everyday for him. I’ll ask God to prepare him for me. Prepare me for him. And when that day comes, I’ll praise God for this beautiful creature He has blessed me with, every single day!! ❤💑